1. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly, you're in bed with a relative.
2. Why is it we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
3. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
4. I saw a young woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "implants?" She hit me.
5. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail; but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn ... That was fun!"
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