Political Corruption

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't heard the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

Intelligence Test

On a trip to Great Britain while he was President of the United States, Bill Clinton had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth. During that meeting he asked her, "How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?"

"That's easy," the Queen replied, "You surround yourself with intelligent ministers and advisors."

"But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?" asked Bill.

You ask them a riddle," she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, "Would you please send Tony Blair in." When Blair arrived, the Queensaid, "I have a riddle for you."

"Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?"

Blair replied, "That's easy. The child was me."

"Very good," said the Queen. "You may go now."

Sizing up his wife's chances in her presidential bid, and thinking back on that meeting with the Queen, Bill Clinton spoke to Hillary. He said to her, "I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was that child?"

Hillary replied, "Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer. Can I deliberate on this for awhile?"

"Yes," said Bill, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the answer."

So Hillary called a meeting of her campaign team, from top to bottom, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. She was quite upset, not knowing what she would tell her husband, the former President. As Hillary was leaving her meeting, she ran into her most formidable challenger to her presidential nomination, Barack Obama.

So she said, "Mr. Obama, can you answer this riddle for me? Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?"

"That's seems pretty easy," said Obama, "I think the child would be me."

"Oh thank you," said Hillary. "You may just have ensured my nomination as the democratic candidate for the Presidency of the United States!" So Hillary went back to Bill and said, "I think I know the answer to your riddle."

"The child was Barack Obama!"

"No, you dummy!" shouted Bill. "The child was Tony Blair"