Doctor's Advice

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a huge stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "All those for me?"

"Just take two," Brenda replied.

"The rest are for your father."

The Secret To A Long Marriage

An elderly couple was sitting on their front porch one day when the husband said: "Whenever I get at mad at you, you never seem to get upset. How do you manage to control your temper?"
"I just go and clean the toilet," his wife replied.
"How does that help?" asked her husband.
"I use your toothbrush."

The Wedding Night

A married couple is about to have sex for the first time on their wedding night.
They start to undress, and the husband removes his shoes. The wife notices something frightful about his feet. "Oh my goodness! What happened to your toes?" she exclaimed.
"I have tolio," he said.
"You mean polio?" she asked.
"Well," the husband explained, "it's kind of like polio except it only affects your toes."
The husband then removes his pants.
"Oh my gosh!" the wife exclaimed again. "What happened to your knees?"
"I have kneesles," replied the husband. "It's kind of like measles except it only affects your knees."
The husband finally takes off his underwear.
The wife says, "Wait, let me guess - smallcox."

Four-Letter Word

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Stan started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful four-letter words. You've got to come get me and take me home. Please mama!"

"Frannie, Frannie," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What four-letter words has he been using?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed. They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home. Please mama."

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words." Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, Mama, words like dust, wash, iron, and cook . . . "

Marriage Annulment

Edwin and Cheryl had married under none too happy circumstances, and their married life had not been anything to brag about either. But when, after they had been lived together for thirty-five years, Edwin went to the local judge to ask for an annulment, the whole of Middleton gasped with amazement.

A date for the hearing was set. However, when the time came, the judge demanded to know the grounds on which Edwin based his demand for an annulment.

"It's like this, your Honor," answered Edwin. "I've just learned that Cheryl's father never had a license to carry a gun."

Concerning Marriage

• There was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married and then it was too late.

• At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

• Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

• Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.

Intrigue To Marriage

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Brian told his best friend Mike. "Why not add some intrigue to your life, and have an affair?" his friend suggested.

"But what if my wife finds out?" "Heck, we are almost on the begining of the 21st centrury, Brian. Go ahead and tell her about it!"

So Brian went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together." "Forget it," said his wife. "Ive tried that many times - it never worked."

Marriage and Men

- When a man decides to marry, it may be the last decision he'll ever make.

- Some men who speak with authority at work know enough to bow to a higher authority at home

- A dish towel will certainly wipe the contented look off a married man's face

- Love is the quest, marriage is the conquest, divorce is the inquest.

- An engagement is an urge on the verge of a merge.

- Marriage brings music to a man's life. He learns to play second fiddle.

- Getting married is one mistake every man should make.

- A well-informed man is one whose wife has just told him what she thinks of him.

- Courtship, unlike proper punctuation, is a period before a sentence.

- The argument you just won with your wife isn't over yet.

and lastly............

- Before criticizing your wife's faults, you must remember it may have been these very defects which prevented her from gettting a better husband that the one she married!

Adam and Eve's Perfect Marriage

Q: Do you know why Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage?

A: He didn't have to listen to her talk about all the other men she COULD have married, and she didn't have to put up with his Mother!