Marry an Accountant

A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."

The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."

"Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.

"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."

Can't Sleep

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.

"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."

"Have you tried counting sheep?"

"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

An Accountant You Are

You might be an Accountant if...

- You refer to your child as Deduction 214.
- You deduct Exlax as "Moving expenses".
- You have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.
- At the move Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.
- Getting to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.
- Your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
- You are doing it now because you checked the file and found that you did it last year.you decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double underline "======".

Six Months To Live

A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."

The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."

"Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.

"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."