Military Humor

The commanding general had a female major for his adjutant. Because of this, whenever he had to respond to a call of nature instead of telling her he was off to the latrine he would say, "I'm off to inspect the barracks."
One day, the general comes out of his office and says to the major, "I'm off to inspect the barracks."
The major nodded knowingly but, when the general returned, she noticed he had left his fly open. Thinking quickly, she said, "Excuse me, general, but you left the barracks door open on that last inspection."
The general looks down and, slightly embarrassed, zips up his fly and goes into his office. Two minutes later, he comes back out and says to his adjutant, "Pardon me, major, but when you looked into that open barracks door did you happen to handsome recruit standing at attention."
"No, sir," the major replied. "All I saw was a tired, old career officer passed out on a pair of half empty duffle bags."

Not So Long Ago

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked,'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very Serious man. Is something bothering you?'

'Negative,ma'am. Just serious by nature.'

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, ''It looks like you have seen a lot of action?''

''Yes,ma'am, a lot of action.'

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally The young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'

'1955' , he replied.

Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need To chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and Said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'

The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'