Losing His Mind

The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether anything was troubling him.

"Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes," answered the patient. "You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. No, it's actually worse than that. I'm never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where I'm going, or what it is I'm going to do once I get there -- if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?"

The doctor mused for a moment, then answered in his kindest tones, "Pay me in advance."

Things I Hate About People

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time ... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the t.v. remote because they refuse to walk to the t.v. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it, too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

6. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.