You Are The one

I got home from work last night and said to my wife, "You are a one"

She said "What do you mean, I am a one?"

I said, "If Bo Derek's a ten, you're a one".

Forgot Something?

A man calls his wife and says to her, "Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss. Could you pack up my things so that they will be ready when I get home?"

"Sure, honey," his wife answers."Oh, and could you please pack my blue silk pyjamas?" "Sure, honey," his wife answers again. The man comes home, picks up his things and takes off for the week. He returns a week later, smiling. His wife greets him at the front door. "So honey, how was your fishing trip?"

"It was great..." the husband answers. "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pyjamas." "No I didn't," said his wife. "They were in your tacklebox."

Same Name

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"

"Ten," she replied.

"What are their names?" he asked.

"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.

"They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in."

"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"

"I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered.

"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

Wrong Way

A blonde was driving down the Freeway when her Mobile phone rang.

It was her husband warning her: "Darling", he said, "I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way down the Freeway. Please be careful!"

"Its not just one car", cried the blonde, "There's f#cking
hundreds of them!"